My Story
My name is Nancy Novack. For the past 18 years I have been a stage IV Ovarian Cancer survivor. My cancer experience inspired me to create Nancy’s List, an organization that provides resources for financial assistance, integrative therapies and emotional support for people coping with cancer. My guiding force, my profound wish, my passion all the time is that "no one will ever go through cancer alone."
I was “raised” in St. Louis but I really “woke up” during my college years in Berkeley California during the rockin' 60s. Those were extremely exciting times! I have lived in the San Francisco Bay Area all my life. Now I am blessed to share love and laughter with my brand new husband in Austin, Texas. I call my guy Cowboy to fulfill some fantasy but he is really an amazing civil rights attorney. And we are in love.
I am a clinical psychologist. My practice started in San Francisco. Since there is no licensing reciprocity between Texas and California, I could not practice psychology in Austin. When I established my non-profit Nancy's List in 2006, I hoped to be of value to a larger audience ... most specifically, those persons who are living with cancer and those who love and care for them.
On April 29, 2004, I had severe pain on the right side of my belly. I decided I had appendicitis. I went to my internist who examined me and immediately sent me for a CT scan… I had no idea what that was.
She called me in and asked, "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" "The good news, of course." "You don’t have appendicitis." "Wow! All right. Bye." "Ready for the bad news?" "NO!" "You have stage 4 ovarian cancer which has metastasized to your liver, which is two times its appropriate size, more like a small watermelon. Your right ovary is the size of a grapefruit." (Interesting that tumors are always compared to fruits!)
I said two now-remarkable things… "Thank goodness that it is not appendicitis! What is stage 5?" (I was quite naive then).
I was swept away to Stanford to meet the oncologist who would save my life. When I entered the Stanford Comprehensive Cancer Center, I couldn’t breathe. This was the very moment that defined the rest of my life.
My friends and family soon arrived at my bedside. They came from all over the San Francisco Bay Area and Southern California. That was very nice. True to the nature of a high-powered teaching hospital, every medical student, oncologist, their fellows, and seemingly every person in the Western world also arrived at my bedside to poke and probe. That was not so nice.
Around 8:30 that evening, a man walked into my room which was filled with my loved ones and some shady characters sharpening their scalpels in one dark corner. The man looked a little like Santa Claus. I asked a pretty crazy question but I had been poked and probed by a bunch of strangers all afternoon. "And who might you be?"
"I am your doctor." Whew! That was the introduction to the most incredible relationship in my world. He dismissed the scalpel people and said, "Nancy is too sick for surgery. We are starting chemo immediately."
Pretty scary. And then he said, "Yours is a bleak diagnosis. And you have a very challenging prognosis. I think I can help you. I AM WITH YOU."
Everyone in the room heard those words. There was a communal sigh and big tears. Those 4 words became the most important words in my world and changed my life forever more.
And then he said something that still blows my mind …"When your friends and family go home, and you think about today and feel overwhelmed, please call me. This is my home phone number."
And guess what! I did call him … at 2:30 am. He was as kind and caring in the middle of the night as he has always been throughout my cancer experience. He is honest, available, and REAL. I wish everyone the same trusting relationship with their oncologist as I was truly blessed to have.
He saved my life. He brought meaning to my cancer journey and to my existence. His commitment to my healing made me understand much about the healing process. If he were that committed, so was I and I did whatever he said. I began to finally understand what it means to trust. I trusted him implicitly. I never ever felt alone.
This trust allowed me to open my heart to the amazing generosity of strangers, the wonderful compassionate and sensitive nurses in the infusion room (the ‘angels in my midst’), to patients who rooted for one another and who really cared, and to my friends and loved ones who walked the walk and held my hand and my heart. They called themselves ‘Nancy’s A Team’.
This was a transformation for me, an opening, and a truly different way of being. In my mind, opening my heart to the many acts of kindness and the blessings that I received … that saved my life.
And to have an oncologist who related to ME with psychological mindedness was beyond my wildest dreams. It probably helped when he said, "If you are on antidepressants, double them. And if you are not on them, get on them. And find yourself a solid psychologist, preferably one who has experienced cancer. This will be a rocky road. You will need all the support in the world."
When my sister asked him about my diet and my love of ice cream, suggesting that I needed to change my wicked ways, he said, "I don’t think this is a time to deprive Nancy of any pleasures." If every oncologist understood the importance of emotional healing … the world would be a finer place.
I did a ton of aggressive chemo sessions. And I had a gazillion scary issues and tough times. I never did the standard protocol of debulking. At the end of two years of treatments, I did a laparoscopy to remove my ovaries and tubes. AND I have never had a recurrence in 18 years!
I was blessed to meet Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., who became my mentor and my friend. We first met when I took a 3-day course for continuing education hours for psychologists. I thought I would perhaps be a better one if I ‘hung out’ with this rare, eloquent, and elegant woman. During the first five seconds, I realized I was in her presence and in her course to define my relationship to my cancer. I took the same course with her 3 or maybe 4 times, whenever I felt the need to re-define my relationship to my disease.
During our conversations, she often spoke of the ‘Will to Live’ and I realized this was a very strong force in my healing process. Rachel often talks of being ‘Open to the Possibility’ and I adopted that belief as one of my core healing strengths. I learned about courage and my job to “Encourage My Courage”… to own it and live it.
Being with Rachel was a spiritual experience. Telling my story brought meaning to its existence. It contributed to my healing. I hope many will indulge themselves and share their story with others.
Cancer is trauma and, with overwhelming trauma, may come a ton of gratitude and perhaps a touch of enlightenment … a touch. My oncologist saved my body. Rachel saved my soul.
Nancy's List
I launched Nancy’s List in 2006. Nancy’s List is my love letter to the universe, an expression of my immense gratitude for my miraculous recovery from stage 4 ovarian cancer … and my deep appreciation for my amazing life.
My guiding force, my profound wish, my passion … all the time … is
No one will ever go through cancer alone. I AM WITH YOU
In 2006, you transitioned from active treatment for Ovarian Cancer to survivorship? What surprised you the most about survivorship? What can women do to better prepare themselves?
Many people think that if you are not in active treatment, you are totally well. Cancer doesn’t stop when the tuna casseroles stop being left at the door. We know that the 'beast' is always on our shoulder, reminding us in the most insidious ways that IT can make a re-appearance. This is tough to assimilate.
This is a very difficult transition and many are now addressing the emotional upheaval that may come post-treatment.
I had tons of attention and support from so many friends and family ... and I reveled in the attention. Now I was in a period of deep reflection and loneliness and reality. I directed all my energy to staying well, and eliminating any negative forces in my life. It was learning everything I always needed to learn about nutrition and fitness and, most importantly, my emotional well-being.
I continued to define my personal relationship to my cancer, not that of everyone else’s perception, but my own.
I was very energetic and wanted to do something powerful for the community in which I lived. I started a community call-to-action to engage everyone to find ways to support the many who were living with cancer in the San Francisco Bay Area. It was a splendid project.
Nancy, as a psychologist, a cancer patient, and a survivor, you bring a unique perspective to cancer recovery. What advice would you give women trying to move on post-cancer?
You need someone to walk the walk with you. I hope everyone has a coach, a guide, preferably someone who has survived cancer. Cancer is totally emotional. Find a seasoned professional who can stay with you through all your emotions. And work out a plan that brings more awareness to your body, to your relationships, to your being in the world … a plan that softens the negative and totally focuses you on your personal healing journey.
You credit your oncologist with saving your life. What are the qualities women recently diagnosed should look for when choosing an oncologist?
I love this one … I didn’t choose my oncologist who truly saved my life. Serendipity made that happen and how blessed I am that it did.
When cancer patients come to visit with me, I am so daunted by the many who tell me they don’t trust their oncologist. And my response is always the same, “There are a zillion brilliant doctors in the cancer world. Keep shopping until you find one who has an emotional connection with you, who speaks to your whole person and your life, who is “with you” for all the great moments when your numbers go down and those truly tough moments when they get higher. Keep shopping.”
Tell us about Nancy’s List, what inspired you to create it and how can it help?
I spent a great deal of time in the Infusion room at Stanford. As a clinical psychologist, I am curious and want to talk. I asked my kindred spirits to tell me about their cancer experience.
They didn’t speak of their fear of dying or even living with cancer. They worried the most that they did not have the funds for treatment and that they would be turned away from the hospital. One gentleman told me he considered suicide because he was a financial burden to his family.
This was unacceptable to me. I vowed to make a difference … and find the money. I started Nancy’s List in 2006 as a non-profit to find financial resources for those persons living with cancer and those who love and care for them. I also vowed that I would make this information available to all healing professionals who work with the vast cancer community.
The list of resources is ever-expanding and used by many patient navigators, cancer coaches and advocates, and those in the healing professions. That pleases me. During the time of Covid, I developed a list of financial resources that serve the cancer community. Nancy's List has moved in many directions but I always come back to this list of financial resources as one of my biggest contributions to the cancer community.
I started a Club for children and teens who had cancer or who loved someone who did. It was an adventure camp. Every weekend we offered these strong kids opportunities like sailing, attending a sporting event, going to the theatre, or simply a beach party and learning to paddle board. They loved it. I loved it. They became a support team for each other and their parents did the same. It was beautiful.
Since I strongly believe that deep healing comes from more than the infusion rooms, I developed an extensive list of Integrative Therapies and Practitioners across the country who specialize in caring for persons living with cancer.
I wrote a book with 42 other authors called I Am With You: Love Letters to Cancer Patients. We intended the book to be for newly-diagnosed patients although it is well received by people at all stages of cancer. My daughter-in-law said, "This isn't only about cancer. This is about living a life worth living."
Part of your advocacy is to raise awareness about the tremendous financial burden cancer causes women and their families. What is the impact and are there resources that can help?
This project of Nancy’s List reaches all persons who are living with cancer. I am not so concerned with the statistics of the costs of cancer but rather in finding solutions and sharing that information with persons and professionals who are concerned about this issue.
Stress is a really tough one. I believe that financial stress impedes the healing process. Mitigating the stress opens possibilities for healing. There are so many ways to negotiate with the hospitals, to find medications for free or at huge discounts. There are scholarships for kids who have had cancer or had a parent with cancer. There are free camps and retreats for kids and families. There are so many resources to help cancer patients with living expenses, food, dental and vision care, home health and caregiving, transportation and travel, and wonderful wish fulfillment organizations. I want everyone to know … so please go to my website NancysList.org.
Is there a specific life lesson from cancer that you would like other cancer survivors to know?
YES!! The mission of Nancy’s List is that no the no one will ever go through cancer alone. You are not alone. There are so many humans and so many organizations who want to hold your hand your heart through your cancer experience. We are with you.
