Alyssa you were diagnosed with tongue cancer in your twenties, in addition to the overwhelming physical challenges you faced, how was your lifestyle impacted?

At the time, I was 22 years young and after treatment I returned to school to complete my Master’s Program in Public Communication. My goal was to create what I call a “new normal”. Along with attending school, I began working two part-time jobs, exploring new personal interests and going out with my friends.

I found that I had more confidence after cancer. I was stronger in ways I never knew possible and was very proud of my scars. I did miss eye contact and the completely trivial first conversation when meeting new people. I was very keen on gaining weight and hoped my speech would improve a bit, knowing it would never be “normal” again.

Fortunately, I had my phenomenal family, friends and doctors helping me to move forward confidently.

Dating was fun! I say this sarcastically! Ha Ha. I have always loved meeting new people, though I never enjoyed the first, nearly scripted “first date”. If I thought, I might want to see the person again, I would share that I had tongue cancer and was now healthy. If I did not want to see the person again and they asked about my scars and speech, I would say, I will share more about my story when I get to know you better.

You met your husband Daniel Reeder when you were 30, how did you share your cancer experience with him?

My husband and I met unexpectedly while waiting to attend an outdoor concert in Austin, TX. We were so engrossed in conversation that we missed the concert and he asked for my phone number. I left with my friends, he called to make sure I got home safely and the next day we met for brunch.

I shared with him my cancer story and the fact I might not be able to have children after my extensive postoperative treatments then. Honesty is key. If this was a deal breaker, I wanted him to know upfront and we could be friends. To my surprise, he said, “I am sorry you had to go through that. Though it is more of a reason to like you.” We had such a marvelous time together and could not stop laughing. After brunch, we ended up exploring the city, listening to music and then had dinner. Hands down the best first date of my life.

There is a saying from one of my favorite movies, Big Fish, “They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.”

Daniel proposed 6 months later, we married and to our delight found out we were pregnant! A couple months after our son was born, we were pregnant again with our daughter! We had two healthy babies under two years of age!

You have two young children Cameron, age 7 and Sydney, age 6. You recently underwent extensive jaw replacement surgery with a complicated recovery that has been ongoing for a year and a half. How did you explain and prepare your children for your surgery and how have you managed your ongoing recovery?

Honesty is key in any relationship. Children are very intuitive, brilliant and resilient little beings. After learning what my surgery, hospitalization stay and recovery time would entail, we created a plan before talking with our children. (Mind you it was also during the height of COVID in NYC!)

Daniel and I agreed that we did not want the children to see me in the hospital. We had one month to plan and prepare our children as best as we could before my OR date. Following our private conversation, we sat our munchkins down on the sofa, told them mom’s jawbone fractured and showed them the x-ray.

We explained that my newest three teams of doctors at MSKCC were going to help me. They asked a lot of questions and we in turn answered a lot of questions. We continued to have an ongoing and open dialogue daily to ensure we were addressing, supporting and nurturing our children processing the information accordingly.

I am fortunate that Daniel is able to work and provide for our family. I have had my dream role as being a full time/ homeschooling mom while running my nonprofit. The thought of being away from my children and husband was more difficult than the thought of having to return to the OR for me.

When I returned home, my children greeted me with hugs at the front door smiling, then teary eyed and very concerned. As I sat down on the sofa, our children simultaneously ran up the stairs to their bedrooms. My son brought me his favorite large blanket off his bed and my daughter brought me her favorite stuffed animal. They ran back down the stairs and explained to me that it would make me feel better.

You were asked to do a radio tour with Actor Michael Douglas and Dr. Jatin P. Shah, the Head of The HNC Department at Memorial Sloane Kettering’s Cancer Center. What was the goal of the tour?

The goal of the radio tour was to raise awareness about Oral Head Neck Cancers and to educate the public about how easy it is to undergo a two-minute visual screening. We were nominated for a SABRE Award for the accomplishments made by the radio campaign.

Tell us more about The Head and Neck Cancer Fund. What is your mission?

HNC Fund facilitates comprehensive financial support for the well-being of head neck cancer patients throughout the country. My mission is to raise awareness about the disease, help as many people as I can and along the way provide a bit of hope.

What has surprised you about your life so far and what are your hopes for the future?

I am very aware, many people around the world have it far worse than my personal experiences battling cancer and undergoing jawbone replacement surgery. My husband calls trivial complaints, “First World Problems.” Perspective in life is key. By no means am I saying it has been easy. Though, I have nothing to complain about! I have had the gift of regaining my health and time.

I savor every moment of each day and constantly reflect on the fact that I am one of the lucky ones. I have the greatest doctors in the world as my personal medical team, a loving and supportive family, fabulous friends, a husband who not only makes me laugh daily, but also still can’t stop kissing and two healthy and happy children.

I am expanding our HNC Fund to help more patients a year, writing a children's book, and about to launch our HNC Fund Collection LLC.

I am living my dream life and have never been happier. I am very excited for what my future holds.

If you had one message to share with other people coping with similar challenges, what would that be?

It is this, Never Give Up and remember, you are not alone. Never allow yourself to lose hope as I am absolutely convinced based on my personal experience that your mental outlook directly impacts your physical well-being.

For more tips and lifestyle advice from Alyssa Fischer-Reeder, read her informative blogs in our series, “Know & Tell.”