It’s that time of year again. Summer is winding down and for families with school-age children the focus changes from sunblock and swimsuits to notebooks and backpacks. Back-to-school season can bring a mix of excitement and stress for any parent—but for moms coping with cancer, it can feel especially overwhelming. 

The good news? With a little planning, some creative thinking, and a lot of self-compassion, it can be done. (My children are proof!) In fact, it can even become a special time to connect with your kids. 

Here are a few ideas to help lighten your load—physically, emotionally, and financially—while still giving your kids a positive start to the school year.

1. Start with a Chat, not Just the Checklist

Before diving into what they need, have a heart-to-heart with your kids. Ask what they’re excited about this school year. What are they nervous about? What are the “must-haves” vs. “nice-to-haves”? This helps you prioritize—and makes them feel heard. Plus, it can shift the focus from “things” to feelings.

2. Ask For Help Without Feeling Guilty

Let go of the idea that you need to do everything yourself. Ask a trusted friend, family member, or neighbor to take your child shopping—or to help you organize an online shopping day from your couch. Most people want to help—they just need to know how. This is a great, meaningful way that they can show up for you and your family.

3. Lean into Online Shopping

If you’re tired, recovering from treatment, or just trying to avoid crowds, online shopping is your best friend. Let your kids help browse and add items to the cart. (They’ll love the “freedom.”) To make it feel special, turn it into a mini “shopping party” with snacks and music.

4. Get Back to Basics

Don’t pressure yourself to do it all in one go. Focus on the basics or essentials first. For example, backpacks, notebooks, sneakers—and know that you can pick up extras or order them as needed. You can add things as your energy allows.

5. Make It About Moments, Not Stuff

Even if you’re not physically up for shopping trips or long checklists, you can create memories your kids will hold onto. Handwrite a lunchbox note. Share a story about your favorite first day of school. Help them lay out their outfit the night before. It’s these moments—not the supplies—that stick with them.

6. Build In Something to Look Forward To

Plan a post-shopping treat: a movie night, pancakes for dinner, or a silly photoshoot with new school outfits. This gives your child (and you!) something fun to anticipate as the new school year is about to begin.

Final Thoughts

One of the best lessons that I learned about being a mom coping with cancer (my daughters were 9 and 13 years old when I was diagnosed) is that you never stop being “the mom.” It means you’re adapting, showing strength in new ways, and giving your kids one of the most important lessons of all: how to keep moving forward with love, even when life gets tough.

For more cancer-life advise, read our blogs, “From One Mother To Another” in our survivor series, Know & Tell.

And remember, you’ve got this. One notebook, one hug, one deep breath at a time.