Contibutors: Isaac James and Amanda Ferraro
When a parent has cancer, it affects every aspect of a child’s life. Ten-year old Isaac James, has experienced this firsthand. Isaac’s mother, Amanda Ferraro is a two-time Acute Myeloid Leukemia survivor, a stem cell transplant recipient, and the founder of Cancer Is An Asshole, a website and organization that provides other patients and survivors with, “Facts, Truth and Understanding,” as well as cancer-related resources.
In 2023, Isaac decided that like his mom, he wanted to offer information and support to families coping with cancer, in particular, kids in a situation similar to him. Isaac created his own website called Cancer Is An Imposter. On Isaac’s website, children (and their parents) can learn more about cancer, read helpful books that Isaac suggests, as well as find fun things to do for kids who have cancer themselves.
We asked Isaac and his mother Amanda to share their experiences and insights with Cancer Be Glammed including Isaac’s advice for other kids.
• Isaac, what inspired you to create your website, Cancer is An Imposter?
“I wanted to make one like my mom’s so I could help people too. I want to help kids learn about cancer so it’s not that scary if your mom or dad gets it.
• What would you like other kids to know about how they can help their parent coping with cancer?
My mom always tells me that I helped her fight, and you could do that too. You can say nice things to them like “you are strong” and you can make pictures and things.
• What advice would you give to moms and dads to help their children deal with their cancer treatment and recovery?
I think it’s good to talk about what is going on because sometimes kids are scared, and they don’t understand why you lose your hair or can’t play. My mom talked to me about her cancer, and we talked about what the hospital sleepovers were like for her. I think my website could help you learn about cancer, and it could help families talk about cancer too.
My advice for other moms would be, I guess just talk about it. Even though it’s scary for you, it can be even more scary for the kids. If you don’t let us know what is going on, we don’t know and might think it’s our fault. Kids might even grow up to be doctors because they want to help other people get better from cancer. If we know what’s going on we might be able to help with things too. If you talk about it, cancer won’t be so scary, and then maybe the kids will feel like they can talk about it to others.
• Amanda, I know that you feel the same way as Isaac, that talking about what you are going through is so important. What were other ways that you and Isaac supported each other?
Like Isaac said, I think you should talk about it. I obviously didn’t share every detail with him, I did make my conversation kid friendly, but I was open about the diagnosis and what the doctors were going to help me with. We called the hospital the doctor’s house, and I had sleepovers there so the doctors could check on me.
We named my port, and he helped me count my medication when I took it. I think if you can discuss what you are going through with your children, it makes your diagnosis not as scary. I also would suggest play therapy because that was a huge help for Isaac. We ended up making a journal and he would draw how he was feeling on one page and on the back, I would respond by drawing something back. As he got older, we could write back and forth to each other, but it helps to have open communication.
There are also books that can help start the conversation which you can find on Isaac’s website. The thing I learned during my cancer journey was my son just wanted to do whatever he could to help me. I used his love as my motivation and it got me through some tough times.
•Amanda, how do you feel about Isaac’s efforts to help other children to have a better experience dealing with a parent’s cancer?
I am so proud of Isaac. I think that bringing him into the conversation and him being able to see his family rally around his mom who had cancer really made a difference. I love that he can talk about me being sick so freely. I am amazed by the resilience Isaac has and it inspires me.
For more stories and advice on how to parent with cancer, read our helpful blogs in our survivor series Know and Tell in the category, “From One Mother to Another.” Many thanks to Isaac and Amanda for sharing their inspiring efforts to improve the lives of families dealing with cancer.
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About Isaac
Isaac James is a 10-year-old boy who loves playing football. He enjoys playing with his friends, walking his dog, and spending time with his family. Isaac likes helping others and meeting new people. Isaac hopes to be an NFL player one day, and he would like to start a charity with his mom for people with cancer. He is the author of the book, My Mom Got Sick. Click here to purchase.
About Amanda
Amanda Rose Ferraro is a two-time AML leukemia survivor who is dedicated to bring awareness surrounding all aspects of the AYA cancer journey including survivorship. Amanda has a published abstract in the Research Journal of Oncology, she is a TEDx speaker, and passionate patient advocate and a keynote speaker. You can find out more about Amanda on her website cancerisanasshole.com.